he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
