i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
