I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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