Is it normal to miss your booty call?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
