two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I smell stomach acid.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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