got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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