Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
