so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
