MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
