you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Less talking, more tequila
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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