I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
