Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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