hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
