and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize