this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
