The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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