2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
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The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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