ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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