summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
