Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
