I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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