Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
