if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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