Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm too high and old for this...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
