we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
