you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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