I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
