i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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