Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
