Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
