I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
