But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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