38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
