Don't you send me to vm
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
