ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
