I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
