i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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