We're facebook friends in real life
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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