Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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