i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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