38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
