WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
