Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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