ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
