I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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