guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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