Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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