Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
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He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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