I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
do herpes really smell.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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