You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
