Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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