"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize