Me. At least after what I've been through.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
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But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
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I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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