it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
