why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
