i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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